Here's an opportunity to give me your input. If I turn this into a story, in which direction would you have it go? Read through to the end, and let me know how you see things progressing.
You are sitting in a bar on a busy Saturday night. You see a girl, about 25, with a beautiful, heavy brow ridge standing at a lacquered wooden bar table. Next to her is a handsome 40-year-old man in a tan corduroy sport coat. The sexual chemistry between them is clear; she is twirling her hair and fingering her collarbone, but you wonder about the age difference between the pair. On the other side of the table is another woman and a man, but you can only see the woman's face; the man's back faces you. The woman is around 35, and she's somewhat pretty, but her manner is more forceful than her looks. She presents herself to the world as a beleaguered mom, someone who is too busy being practical to even consider the notion of happiness. The man is outfitted in dark jeans and a sweater layered over an Oxford shirt. By his clothes, it's clear he's rich.
Minutes pass, and the alliances shift. The two men know each other well - maybe they're brothers. But there's a huge age gap between them as well, because once you see the hidden man's face, you can see that he's 27 at most, no older. The two women make small talk, obliged to chat with each other until their men cover all the bases. The sport-coated man and beleaguered mom leave together.
The younger couple stays. The beautiful young man returns from the bathroom and leans in close to his date. As he does so, she leans almost imperceptibly backwards, not wanting him to realize that he is turning her off. He is too pretty for her tastes, not manly or virile enough. A friend their age arrives. He is not as good-looking as the pretty boy, but he has a full beard, and it is well trimmed. He's more casual, not so refined in his manner or reined in as he moves. The girl turns her body towards this new arrival. When her date speaks, she merely turns her head his direction. She lays a flirtatious hand on the bearded man's chest. Another moment passes, and she's stepped in front of her date, her back to him, standing between the two men. The three of them leave the bar together.
There's your scene. Considering the cast of five, where do each of them end up by the time the night is over? Where are they all in a year's time? Feedback is appreciated!
You are sitting in a bar on a busy Saturday night. You see a girl, about 25, with a beautiful, heavy brow ridge standing at a lacquered wooden bar table. Next to her is a handsome 40-year-old man in a tan corduroy sport coat. The sexual chemistry between them is clear; she is twirling her hair and fingering her collarbone, but you wonder about the age difference between the pair. On the other side of the table is another woman and a man, but you can only see the woman's face; the man's back faces you. The woman is around 35, and she's somewhat pretty, but her manner is more forceful than her looks. She presents herself to the world as a beleaguered mom, someone who is too busy being practical to even consider the notion of happiness. The man is outfitted in dark jeans and a sweater layered over an Oxford shirt. By his clothes, it's clear he's rich.
Minutes pass, and the alliances shift. The two men know each other well - maybe they're brothers. But there's a huge age gap between them as well, because once you see the hidden man's face, you can see that he's 27 at most, no older. The two women make small talk, obliged to chat with each other until their men cover all the bases. The sport-coated man and beleaguered mom leave together.
The younger couple stays. The beautiful young man returns from the bathroom and leans in close to his date. As he does so, she leans almost imperceptibly backwards, not wanting him to realize that he is turning her off. He is too pretty for her tastes, not manly or virile enough. A friend their age arrives. He is not as good-looking as the pretty boy, but he has a full beard, and it is well trimmed. He's more casual, not so refined in his manner or reined in as he moves. The girl turns her body towards this new arrival. When her date speaks, she merely turns her head his direction. She lays a flirtatious hand on the bearded man's chest. Another moment passes, and she's stepped in front of her date, her back to him, standing between the two men. The three of them leave the bar together.
There's your scene. Considering the cast of five, where do each of them end up by the time the night is over? Where are they all in a year's time? Feedback is appreciated!
